To My Former Rival—Ex Of My Past Love
From friends to former rival to strangers now.
Maybe you’re laughing at me right now because my karma has arrived. Laugh your ass out! It’s completely understandable. Nevertheless, I want to tell you something. You don’t have to believe it, just read it. She’s the one who initiates the love that made things complicated. I’m not saying it wasn’t my fault or I’m innocent at all cost. I just want you to know that back then I didn’t have the intention to steal her from you. Your then-girlfriend and I were friends and I’m happy with that. But then, she confessed she loves me more than a friend and offered me a different kind of love. I lost my thoughts. It weakens me. I was afraid to lose her and our friendship. I’ve tried to avoid her hoping what she felt will subside. But she continuously reached out for me. My resistance failed and things got tragic.
You lost her. I lost her. And even the friendship I’ve tried to save is somehow gone now.
My friend, my former rival
I’m sorry my former rival. Don’t get me wrong for writing this apology in this circumstance that we are now both left by the same person.
I apologize that because of me everything between the two of you turned so bad. But I’m writing this not mainly because I’ve ruined your relationship but because I’ve said things I should’ve not said to you. Believe me or not, I’ve tried so hard to send you an apology right away the moment those cursing words reached the inbox of your cellphone. Brave as fuck I may be when I sent those tough words yet I failed to have the courage to hit the send button even the apologetic message was ready to be sent.
I sympathize myself for being so weak and having been blinded by the emotional state inside me. It caused you sadness that I can never take back from you.
I’ve stolen moments and time that you could have shared together. Maybe it could have saved your relationship if I fucked up with my feelings. But, sorry that I can never give it back to you. I was so weak to ignore the love she offered me back then. I won’t blame you if you can’t forgive me. I’ll completely understand that you wouldn’t want to be friends with me just like before. All I just want is for you to know how sorry I am for wronging a good person like you.
We’ve shared our fair of pain and heartaches towards loving the same person. I’ve hated you for that but along the way, I am pounding those thoughts that it’s wrong to entertain such a feeling. It’s me who have wronged you and I don’t have the rights to dislike you.
If I could just turn back the time and have the courage to reject the love offered to me, I’ll do whatever it takes so maybe you could still be together now. But it’s beyond impossible. All I can do is just hope for the best.
It may be too late for this apology but still, I am sincerely sorry. I wish you happiness in this unfair world.
Your former rival
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